A Woman's Life

"A woman's life happens in stages, largely dictated by her biology."

Had any man DARED to utter those words, I would have considered kicking him in his "biology".

But these words came from Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State under President Clinton, in her recent autobiography. Though I never paid much attention to her career during the Clinton administration, learning about her life and perspective on the unique challenges of being a woman has made a profound impact on me.

Here was a woman, an immigrant of Polish/Jewish decent, landing herself into a privileged American life but still sacrificing her own "voice" to dutifully support her husband's powerful family-owned publishing business; Raised 3 girls, and essentially put her life's passions on hold for 30 years... What's more: After all that, her husband left her for a younger woman; her children were grown and gone - You'd think all was for naught. Yet somehow, by the strength of her own creativity and careful compromise over the years, she had kept her "toes in the political/academic water" just enough to establish a reputation and high regard in the field of international relations. She made American history as the first woman Secretary of State. She was in her 60's when her career began.

All I have to say is, "Whew! What a relief! My life isn't over. It hasn't even begun."

I find myself trapped between wanting a comfortable, traditional life for my children and wanting to take over the world by myself as an uninhibited, focused female force to be reckoned with. It's painfully hard to imagine that latter life in my current reality: Every 30 seconds someone is calling (or more likely, whining), "Mommmmy!" and I'm rushing to tend to a spilled drink, referee a preschooler's wrestling match, or leaning over a toilet to clean misfired little boy urine off of every crevice around the toilet seat... In any given day, I hardly have the time (or energy) to dream, let alone pursue what interests ME.

Such is the stage I'm in in my life. For the longest time I've been resenting it (and myself). Wishing I were satisfied and peaceful being the housewife and mother that my life now asks of me. While it's not and never has been my "voice", it is my life, it is my choice. (And my two boys are truly delicious - even if they are "fresh" with their mother.)

Ms. Albright's words have helped me to catch my breath. To see that the deeper parts of me, my unique gifts, still have time to shine. Knowing that this time of "duty" is just a stage and not a life sentence, I can more easily celebrate the joys I've been given. The job I have admittedly chosen. And the good news is, underneath it all, I am and I will always still be me!

And you know what else? Damn if I'm not doing an amazing job running a show that I know I wasn't extraordinarily designed for. And kudos to me, in spite of this stage of perpetual unrelenting demand, for having managed to creatively keep my "toes in the water", too!

...I think I'll write my autobiography one day.