It is said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Each one makes a difference in our lives and in who we are or who we become. I have been blessed by many, yet a few stand out.
I wouldn't be the person I am today without these special people. What's interesting about the folks that stand out in my life, is that they taught me lessons unknowingly. By just being who they were, and seeing me in a way that I was blinded to seeing myself, they taught me something lasting.
More than anything, I pray to be the kind of person that makes a difference in others lives, unknowingly. By just being me... in their lives... for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Professional Feedback
Tell me like it is. Give it to me straight. It's the only way I become better, more aware, more intentional about my work.
A client of mine, someone I've been doing business with over the past year, was kind enough to share some honest feedback with me last week.
I asked him, "What do you think I could do differently? How can I be better at what I do?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, sometimes on the telephone you come off as being a bit aggressive and sharp. You could try a softer touch and see how that works for you."
...Wow.
He further explained that meeting me in person makes all the difference. His generous feedback (and some might say, courageous feedback, too.... Yikes, right?; He was talking with someone who can be aggressive and sharp!) was such a gift.
It instantly explained why I have always been more successful in my sales career when I'm in front of my clients, and why my close-ratio is weak when I'm relying on phone rapport. I was immediately reminded of why/how I got "here": I had learned to overcompensate for my young appearance and phone voice, which was critiqued over 10 years ago by my first mentor as being "weak" at the time. That feedback then was as important as this feedback is now. I will reset my perception of myself and stop the overcompensating and, as my client friend says: See how it works for me.
This simple professional feedback is a major revelation! It represents a specific opportunity for my growth and greater success. Not to mention a better way to do business for and with one of my favorite and most successful clients.
AWESOME. Thanks, Joe. I'm glad I asked.
A client of mine, someone I've been doing business with over the past year, was kind enough to share some honest feedback with me last week.
I asked him, "What do you think I could do differently? How can I be better at what I do?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, sometimes on the telephone you come off as being a bit aggressive and sharp. You could try a softer touch and see how that works for you."
...Wow.
He further explained that meeting me in person makes all the difference. His generous feedback (and some might say, courageous feedback, too.... Yikes, right?; He was talking with someone who can be aggressive and sharp!) was such a gift.
It instantly explained why I have always been more successful in my sales career when I'm in front of my clients, and why my close-ratio is weak when I'm relying on phone rapport. I was immediately reminded of why/how I got "here": I had learned to overcompensate for my young appearance and phone voice, which was critiqued over 10 years ago by my first mentor as being "weak" at the time. That feedback then was as important as this feedback is now. I will reset my perception of myself and stop the overcompensating and, as my client friend says: See how it works for me.
This simple professional feedback is a major revelation! It represents a specific opportunity for my growth and greater success. Not to mention a better way to do business for and with one of my favorite and most successful clients.
AWESOME. Thanks, Joe. I'm glad I asked.
A Woman's Life
"A woman's life happens in stages, largely dictated by her biology."
Had any man DARED to utter those words, I would have considered kicking him in his "biology".
But these words came from Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State under President Clinton, in her recent autobiography. Though I never paid much attention to her career during the Clinton administration, learning about her life and perspective on the unique challenges of being a woman has made a profound impact on me.
Here was a woman, an immigrant of Polish/Jewish decent, landing herself into a privileged American life but still sacrificing her own "voice" to dutifully support her husband's powerful family-owned publishing business; Raised 3 girls, and essentially put her life's passions on hold for 30 years... What's more: After all that, her husband left her for a younger woman; her children were grown and gone - You'd think all was for naught. Yet somehow, by the strength of her own creativity and careful compromise over the years, she had kept her "toes in the political/academic water" just enough to establish a reputation and high regard in the field of international relations. She made American history as the first woman Secretary of State. She was in her 60's when her career began.
All I have to say is, "Whew! What a relief! My life isn't over. It hasn't even begun."
I find myself trapped between wanting a comfortable, traditional life for my children and wanting to take over the world by myself as an uninhibited, focused female force to be reckoned with. It's painfully hard to imagine that latter life in my current reality: Every 30 seconds someone is calling (or more likely, whining), "Mommmmy!" and I'm rushing to tend to a spilled drink, referee a preschooler's wrestling match, or leaning over a toilet to clean misfired little boy urine off of every crevice around the toilet seat... In any given day, I hardly have the time (or energy) to dream, let alone pursue what interests ME.
Such is the stage I'm in in my life. For the longest time I've been resenting it (and myself). Wishing I were satisfied and peaceful being the housewife and mother that my life now asks of me. While it's not and never has been my "voice", it is my life, it is my choice. (And my two boys are truly delicious - even if they are "fresh" with their mother.)
Ms. Albright's words have helped me to catch my breath. To see that the deeper parts of me, my unique gifts, still have time to shine. Knowing that this time of "duty" is just a stage and not a life sentence, I can more easily celebrate the joys I've been given. The job I have admittedly chosen. And the good news is, underneath it all, I am and I will always still be me!
And you know what else? Damn if I'm not doing an amazing job running a show that I know I wasn't extraordinarily designed for. And kudos to me, in spite of this stage of perpetual unrelenting demand, for having managed to creatively keep my "toes in the water", too!
...I think I'll write my autobiography one day.
Had any man DARED to utter those words, I would have considered kicking him in his "biology".
But these words came from Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State under President Clinton, in her recent autobiography. Though I never paid much attention to her career during the Clinton administration, learning about her life and perspective on the unique challenges of being a woman has made a profound impact on me.
Here was a woman, an immigrant of Polish/Jewish decent, landing herself into a privileged American life but still sacrificing her own "voice" to dutifully support her husband's powerful family-owned publishing business; Raised 3 girls, and essentially put her life's passions on hold for 30 years... What's more: After all that, her husband left her for a younger woman; her children were grown and gone - You'd think all was for naught. Yet somehow, by the strength of her own creativity and careful compromise over the years, she had kept her "toes in the political/academic water" just enough to establish a reputation and high regard in the field of international relations. She made American history as the first woman Secretary of State. She was in her 60's when her career began.
All I have to say is, "Whew! What a relief! My life isn't over. It hasn't even begun."
I find myself trapped between wanting a comfortable, traditional life for my children and wanting to take over the world by myself as an uninhibited, focused female force to be reckoned with. It's painfully hard to imagine that latter life in my current reality: Every 30 seconds someone is calling (or more likely, whining), "Mommmmy!" and I'm rushing to tend to a spilled drink, referee a preschooler's wrestling match, or leaning over a toilet to clean misfired little boy urine off of every crevice around the toilet seat... In any given day, I hardly have the time (or energy) to dream, let alone pursue what interests ME.
Such is the stage I'm in in my life. For the longest time I've been resenting it (and myself). Wishing I were satisfied and peaceful being the housewife and mother that my life now asks of me. While it's not and never has been my "voice", it is my life, it is my choice. (And my two boys are truly delicious - even if they are "fresh" with their mother.)
Ms. Albright's words have helped me to catch my breath. To see that the deeper parts of me, my unique gifts, still have time to shine. Knowing that this time of "duty" is just a stage and not a life sentence, I can more easily celebrate the joys I've been given. The job I have admittedly chosen. And the good news is, underneath it all, I am and I will always still be me!
And you know what else? Damn if I'm not doing an amazing job running a show that I know I wasn't extraordinarily designed for. And kudos to me, in spite of this stage of perpetual unrelenting demand, for having managed to creatively keep my "toes in the water", too!
...I think I'll write my autobiography one day.
I'm Not Crazy
It's official: I'm not going crazy! And, likely, neither are you.
I've been "freaking out" over the last few years because I would sometimes find myself in a state of overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration, or utter disappointment in myself. I would think, "Oh my God, what is happening to me? Where did I go? Why do I have such a bad attitude? Am I going crazy?"
I've always been an overacheiver, notably or at least moderately good at anything I set my mind to, extremely self-sufficient and reliable, full of contagious energy and self-motivation...blah, blah, blah.
I recently and FINALLY figured out why I haven't consistently been this way since, oh, let's say 2001 (after the birth of my first son): This change in personal capacity and integrity aren't a symptom of some undiagnosed mental or biological deterioration. And it isn't that I have low self esteem or anything like that. Quite the contrary: It's that I have TOO MUCH self esteem.
"Say what?!" Right. I'm not going crazy at all. What's crazy is that I expect so much from myself. I haven't slowly become this unrecognizable person as I have feared. I haven't changed. But outside of who I am, it is my life, responsibilities, obligations, and priorities that HAVE changed.
I think this probably happens to a lot of us as we literally "run" through life. Things just keep piling on. And we expect ourselves to keep up the pace. Let's give ourselves a break!
I heard these affirmations recently on a CD with Jim Rohn. They are simple, but powerful, and they do something for me; Especially in those moments when I feel a hint of the "bad attitudes" coming on. I hope they do something for you to:
I love and approve of myself. (OK, OK. I agree. This one's a little too SNL Stuart Smalley, but it's important nonetheless.)
I gift myself with fairness and dignity.
I will achieve when I take on the right challenges.
I need to be in relationships with people who deserve me.
...Wow, I feel better already. (Wait...does that sound crazy?)
I've been "freaking out" over the last few years because I would sometimes find myself in a state of overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration, or utter disappointment in myself. I would think, "Oh my God, what is happening to me? Where did I go? Why do I have such a bad attitude? Am I going crazy?"
I've always been an overacheiver, notably or at least moderately good at anything I set my mind to, extremely self-sufficient and reliable, full of contagious energy and self-motivation...blah, blah, blah.
I recently and FINALLY figured out why I haven't consistently been this way since, oh, let's say 2001 (after the birth of my first son): This change in personal capacity and integrity aren't a symptom of some undiagnosed mental or biological deterioration. And it isn't that I have low self esteem or anything like that. Quite the contrary: It's that I have TOO MUCH self esteem.
"Say what?!" Right. I'm not going crazy at all. What's crazy is that I expect so much from myself. I haven't slowly become this unrecognizable person as I have feared. I haven't changed. But outside of who I am, it is my life, responsibilities, obligations, and priorities that HAVE changed.
I think this probably happens to a lot of us as we literally "run" through life. Things just keep piling on. And we expect ourselves to keep up the pace. Let's give ourselves a break!
I heard these affirmations recently on a CD with Jim Rohn. They are simple, but powerful, and they do something for me; Especially in those moments when I feel a hint of the "bad attitudes" coming on. I hope they do something for you to:
I love and approve of myself. (OK, OK. I agree. This one's a little too SNL Stuart Smalley, but it's important nonetheless.)
I gift myself with fairness and dignity.
I will achieve when I take on the right challenges.
I need to be in relationships with people who deserve me.
...Wow, I feel better already. (Wait...does that sound crazy?)
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